Trust God! Unplug and get connected to the one that loves you MOST!!!!

True stories from my life..........
Now that I made fun of myself tonight I can finally share a little.....
So, I was taking my God-daughter home and luckily she had enough sense to make my drive shorter knowing my new health realities....She had me leave her at the mall so she can take the bus that leaves her a block from home and that way I only had a 10 minute drive. That of course turned into a 30 minute nightmare of which I came into my home crying promising to not drive at night until I understood my condition better.  Long story very short; let's just share publicly that my eyesight was blurred and I had to pray all the way home.. In the car i HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS OR HOW TO GET HOME but to listen to the voice of my GPS and pray.   You see we just moved, my phone was acting up but the real problem was me and I was so afraid for others and myself that I prayed hard but in my stress I could not come up with words .....
But in that moment of stress the only song that came to me was precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on I cannot see..... This is the song I used to sing to my HOSPICE patients but mostly during moments of death.  And, while I am relating a lot to suffering & anger these days....
This night was very symbolic of this new area of my life where I cannot depend on anyone else but God!!!!  And after a really tough week, another I should say I am saying:
Seriously?!  I may be small but Greater is He that is in me than HE that is in the World!
I draw nearer to God in all things because there is NO ONE like my God. I seriously can say no parents Trust God.
 No job, trust God!
Doctors play hockey with me well I Trust God he formed me/you in your mothers womb.  I am familiar with loss but with God....wow! He gives me peace, clarity, freedom, joy that has nothing to do with how good I am!   Or that I am smiling or even happy which is only momentary.  I know a lot of my friends are going through stuff and now you know so am I but know this Trust God!!!!  Because yes,  God can use other people to confirm his message but always remember you need to be connected to the source!  And, sometimes you just need to unplug from the distractions and go deeper into your main connection. Precious Lord take my hand and lead me on for God I am weak and I am tired...I am weak....I am worn....
Precious Lord Take my Hand  or sing that old song from my youth days that I learned many versions too:  Jesus is on the Mainline so tell'em..... Because all this is just a lesson not a punishment...Yes, in all these things I believe God loves me... For, I do believe  "This is another test for telling the Spirit of Truth from the spirit of deception." 1 John 4:4   Jesus is on the line so stop calling other people or reaching out to just further distractions and Call Him up, call Him up, call Him up, call Him up Call Him up and tell Him what you want.............Or do what I need to do and say can you just Precious Lord, take my hand

            Lead me on, let me stand

            I'm tired, I’m weak, Lord I’m worn

            Through the storm, through the night

            Lead me on to the light

            Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

Seek the Lord for God love us!!!  God loves me and I know and trust he leads me on when I cannot even stand!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b9qH6-IvEs

After School 2013: a year’s review -

After School 2013: a year’s review -

Dysautonomia pushed me down the stairs!

Dysautonomia pushed me down the stairs!

 

No! For realz!!!!!
I am serious I had a fainting spell fell down my stairs and broke my left wrist apparently broke it pretty bad but it was a clean break. 
Like that makes the pain better!?! What did I worry about, in the moment? 

I worried about my grandmother's bracelets seriously only someone that has worked in an ER can understand why I made sure to pull them off before being rushed to the hospital. 

So now with the boot on my foot and a cast on my hand and ready to take on dysautonomia!

I believe in being private.! You say yeah right! Your writing on a blog and sharing your information on social media. But I'm sharing what I choose to share. There's a level that I've seen in my life of being private that is so on healthy. To the point where people even die alone without anyone ever knowing anything about. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to try to find the balance. I have no idea what that looks like so if you're expecting final conclusions it will not be here. ( check out www.ted.com because that is an awesome place for final talks.) But when something as serious as an autonomic nervous system dysfunction comes to visit and doesn't leave you alone! 

Or better yet the doctors make you feel so helpless you want to hit your head against the wall!
My theory is you have to talk about it and some of it might be with the therapist, over coffee, whatever but for me there's a part of it that I want to share.  Because, if in my sharing I can help others and create more awareness and even more so glorify God. Then my new mission in life will include telling my story of Dysautonomia.  Further understanding living with a chronic illness.

Love and marriage takes work....

I've been debating this post for a while but really feel that I need to share and since everybody might be excited to get married now let me say that marriage is so much more than just the physical stuff.Newsflash! What we see in movies is not reality.

 I share this because the last few months have been really tough for me and this last straw of breaking my wrist is no joke. I'd be wrong if I didn't give props to my husband for being there for me on all sides of this! You know I love you even when we fight...So for all of you that are still debating or are looking for the right person let me share this NOT because I have it all figured out but because when the s--- hits the fan you want somebody to have your back. We really need to know ourselves and to know the one in whom we believe.

And the person you should be with is more than just a paycheck ...

They are more than just the car they drive but is willing to be with you and the good and in the bad and ugly stuff. To me it's no surprise that my person is willing to be by my side in whatever I need and I pray I never take it for granted intentional. (Yes the person reference is from Gray's anatomy) I know that for our story there have been many bumps on the road but he's got my back and is willing not just to work which apparently seems to be important for bills...But he is willing to put on my sneakers, do my hair, take me to the doctor and take care of the house. I am married to a real man and I can only pray that if I ever have to help him the way he's helping me that he feels support as I am supported right now.

Flowers are nice but they die...Someone that is willing to be with you in all kinds of storms and not run away that lasts forever. Diamond rings and all that blings is really nice but it's not love if there is no love when your sick. Well those are my two cents from this hot mess. Love is a decision...
I am Glad that I chose my church sweetheart! Even when we drive each other crazy we do it our way!
After all we are imperfect at least it were honest about it. So go talk to your mate and find out a way that you both can make your home a little better. Not everybody's home looks the same way so only the two of you can measure your happiness in the way that makes the most. For me I can't imagine doing this without my faith in God but again my home is not your home. Everyone deserves to be loved especially by the one they love!
Genesis 2:22-24

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man."  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

This blog is dedicated to my person! Thank you for being part of my life!. I love you and wish you a happy birthday.

JAY

http://www.ndrf.org/ans.html

Living with Bob (Dysautonomia): Dysautonomia. Invisible Illness My Arse!

Hi everyone I know it's been a long time and I've been a reallybad blogger. The truth will be uncovered but in short I'm gonna have the time and have had the time to think about my blog writing and just healing in general. I wanted to share the blog below living with Bob because this is a condition I have been wrestling with and trying to understand myself and find doctors are willing to work with it. And this particular blog helped me out this week and has been on my mind and I've actually read it over again I don't know the blog writer but I do know that it is well written and has expressed my life in the last few years especially as I think this condition has progressed.Especially, now that I broke my left wrist and will be in a cast for the next few weeks and now that I'm starting to feel better I want to start posting again and get on a regular schedule and also learn more about this condition. So to begin I wanted to share this blog and to ask you to look forward to my next article because I think we all need to learn more about dysautonomia and to hear Yaya speak till next time enjoy your life

Living with Bob (Dysautonomia): Dysautonomia. Invisible Illness My Arse!: Dysautonomia? Did you make that up? What the hell? Is that a species of dinosaur? A Pokemon character perhaps? Say what? Has anyone who ha...

Remembering...

This month is a month of anniversaries. Many people think that when you talk about anniversaries, they have to be good things, but I tend to believe that even deaths, losses, diagnosis, all those things are anniversaries. Life is short. Life is meant to teach us lessons that we have to be willing to learn.  This morning's devotional was about the man who is at the pool  complaining because nobody was willing to pick him up and put them into the pool when it was stirred, but Jesus sternly tells him to take up his mat and walk. I think that's the hard part about all of the things that happen to us.  I don't think that picking up our mat is a one time occurrence I think that we revisit that in many ways as we mature on this journey called life. We have to just pick up our issues and wounds; especially during those anniversaries and find our way to do better.  I think we have to just live life; we have to learn to over come and learn from the past.  I strongly believe that we don't have to be victims to whatever has occurred in our narrative..  I can overcome and take the invitation that Christ has made us.  For we have this treasure in jars in clay and God is with us....

My life is a gift!  
So, is yours so enjoy it, one step at a time! 

God is at work even in me...

This passage speaks to the fact that even in my disability and limitations God is at work.  I think once I stopped focusing on me and what I could not do is when I saw that God is greater. So, I  put my eyes on God because God is my Hope & my Salvation.

http://bible.us/2Cor12.5.MSG You've forced me to talk this way, and I do it against my better judgment. But now that we're at it, I may as well bring up the matter of visions and revelations that God gave me. For instance, I know a man who, fourteen years ago, was seized by Christ and swept in ecstasy to the heights of heaven. I really don't know if this took place in the body or out of it; only God knows. I also know that this man was hijacked into paradise—again, whether in or out of the body, I don't know; God knows. There he heard the unspeakable spoken, but was forbidden to tell what he heard. This is the man I want to talk about. But about myself, I'm not saying another word apart from the humiliations. If I had a mind to brag a little, I could probably do it without looking ridiculous, and I'd still be speaking plain truth all the way. But I'll spare you. I don't want anyone imagining me as anything other than the fool you'd encounter if you saw me on the street or heard me talk. Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.